It’s me, Annie. I decided to start writing to you like this. I often forget and neglect you and think about you at random times. Most often it is before I go to bed and I fall asleep quickly thinking of things I have on my mind. Or I think about you when I have tried to find answers elsewhere and have failed. I figured this might be a neat way to stay in touch. I am already on my computer more than is healthy, but now I can put it to good use. You already know I am very bad at confrontation and I end up feeling guilty. I like to write notes so I figured I could write you love notes. Notes filled with love, worries, prayers, guilt, anger, tears, dreams, etc. I pray that this will work.
I’m starting to worry I’m running out of time to figure you out. You already have me figured out and I am so lost just mentioning your name. Who am I and what do I believe? I know you are my God and that you are the King but what does that entail. Where should I worship you? What are the rules? I have been surrounded by great people this summer who have influenced me well, I hope this will give me strength to search for answers.
My favorite bible verse came on the daily bible verse text messages the other day. Philippians 4:6 “Do not worry about anything. Instead pray about everything. Ask God what you need and thank him for all he has done” So here I am God. I am here to pray to ask you for guidance.
I am so insecure about my body Lord. I know you made me a certain way and love me regardless of how I look on the outside. Help me accept that outward appearances aren’t everything. Show me how to love myself. I know that when I love you with all my heart, I will love myself more.
I need to work on caring for others. I feel like I need to bring others down to build myself up. Or like Evan mentioned the other night, I beg for attention in all the wrong reasons. I want the real genuine Annie to shine through. Please let me be strong on my ability to say no to boys. I do not want to be walked on. I am a strong girl. I deserve to be treated right. I don’t need to give anything to anyone that I do not want to.
Please let me focus on taking your words to heart. I have been blessed this summer with amble opportunies to grow in your word. Let me not be ashamed of these chances and grab them with open arms. I love you. I’ll write soon.